The Lesser Spotted Punter

I’ve had three rare jobs at the office recently.

Most men who I allow (!!) to visit me fall into one of five categories. I’m one of these people who’s comfortable with routine, but sometimes my bookings take a different turn, and sometimes I’m surprised in a nice way.

Mr Umbrella Man

I took a phone call around six weeks ago from a lovely sounding man – the usual voice I go for. As we chatted, he said he was very nervous, had never done this before and could he come round to meet me for half an hour and pay me my usual fee. To talk!

Why, of course!

Mr Umbrella Man was really lovely and just my type work wise: Intelligent, civil and clean. We had a chat and I think I got a little over excited that I was being paid to do bugger all so I flashed my boobs and tried to seduce him.

It didn’t work. The poor guy was just too nervous and as I didn’t want to give him a heart attack, I put my boobs away and did the friendship thing.

I actually like seeing new people because they are so easy to “do”. The fact that they are meeting a Real Life Sex Worker is usually enough to get them on the edge – if you get my drift – and I can usually get back to a still warm cup of coffee and a game of Word Chums in no time.

As he was leaving I told him he would probably have second thoughts for a while but that I thought he’d be back in a couple of weeks’ time.

As usual, I was correct!

And guess what he wanted me to do? He had some guilt over being unfaithful so he asked me to watch him while he masturbated!! I’m a bit of an exhibitionist so I added a few bits and bobs to our time together and he was brave enough to put the end of his cock on one of my nipples.

It was a fun time.

I think I also like seeing new people because they have a stereotype in their mind regarding sex workers and I like to prove them wrong and show them that I am a normal girl-next-door type of a person who no one would ever guess was a moonlighting hooker.

Mr Brewer’s Droop

This particular guy called me a couple of times one day and came over for an hour after warning me he wouldn’t be like most of my men. He fancied some company and a hug and not necessarily anything else. At first I wasn’t going to see him as he didn’t sound like my usual type, but as I was busy watching my toenails grow I threw caution to the wind, thought of the vet bills and stepped out of my comfort zone.

After being with him for around 20 seconds, I realised he had been drinking and possibly also taken some drugs (Grrr!). He wasn’t drunk of course because I would have been able to tell when we spoke on the phone, but he did seem a little depressed which I think is a sign of a “downer”. I asked him about it and he told me he had been up all night which he did once in a while to get away from the stressors of running his own company. He booked me for the hour and chucked me an extra £20.

I warmed to him.

I don’t get these bookings very often and really wasn’t sure what to expect or what to do so we started off being civil and chatted over a cup of tea. I discovered his job was in something I know about as I use it in my civilian job. I love nothing better than to sit on my pedestal and talk about something I know about – instead of winging it as I usually do, so the conversation was fun and interesting.

I was being paid to show off!

After half an hour I thought I should put some effort into the booking so I started coming onto him. I knew nothing would happen anyway – not with all that poison in his system, so we ended up back on the couch chatting with me lording it over the conversation for another half an hour until I kicked him out.

Half an hour later I received this text from him:

I really enjoyed meeting you :). Money well spent as far as I’m concerned. I think I’m a bit old fashioned in that I’d rather we just met normally, but whatever, we all have to get paid. I’ll see you again soon. xx

I’m actually not going to see him again because he’s not my usual type.

I also don’t like the fact that he called for a taxi when he left, but because we were chatting, the taxi driver got fed up of waiting and left. For the following twenty minutes, I spied on him through the curtains and watched while he walked around trying to find another cab.

I just like my men to go when we are finished. Even though he was around 300 yards down the road, I wasn’t impressed!

Mr Big Brother

*This only happens once in a purple moon so please don’t think it’s expected.

My usual type turns up. He had a very responsible job – honestly, you would not believe the type of people who use sex workers. I was intrigued by this job but beware Big Brother is all I can say!!

Anyway he booked me for half an hour and chucked £200 on the table. That’s it.

This is a lot of money for me as I don’t see many people. It made my week.

*Let’s address the elephant in the room:

Should a punter tip a sex worker?

No, it’s not expected.

I sometimes receive calls from men asking me to drop my price along with my knickers, but I never do. The price I charge is the price I charge and that is it!

Visiting sex workers isn’t cheap and it’s not usual for the above to happen – it’s just not expected of you.

However, if you’re feeling flush…..

Just can and coking!